Psalm 139:1-3 (NASB)
1 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.

I sit down alone,
Only God is here:
In his presence I open,
I read his books;
And what I thus learn,
I teach.
     —John Wesley

I find that I think about God more when I am alone than when I am with others.  The only exception is during worship or Bible study or some other group activity like a prayer group.  And when I am alone, and my thoughts turn to God, I recognize just how much I am not alone.  I can be more alone in a group of people than when I am alone with God.

Even understanding this, I find it amazing that true humility seems to be difficult for me to feel.  Knowing that God is intimately acquainted with all my ways escapes my constant attention.  When we become Christians, I would think we should be the most humble people in the world.  And yet I am not.  My pride surfaces so easily.  I so easily think better of myself than others.  When I really meditate about that, it can be frightening.  How could anyone be prideful, knowing that God knows us into the deepest recesses of our soul.

I guess we try to protect ourselves by hiding how we really are and put on that mask that we show to others.  I’m afraid that I also do that with God, although hopefully less so.  Maybe it is the fear of seeing the real me.  If it wasn’t for God’s willingness to hear my confessions, I’m afraid that we would never really know anything true about us.  It would all be hidden away.  Without the Holy Spirit that helps us turn toward Jesus, we would never truly change.

Heavenly Father, You know me better than I know myself.  I pray that You would reveal to me the true me and then help me to confess those things to You that do not bring You glory.  Erase the fear of knowing myself.  Holy Spirit, whisper to me how to become more like Jesus and show me how to make that change.  Instill in me true humility.  Save me from my pride.  I pray these things in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Always praying for the glory of God,